It's the weekend and I am beat. I have been staying up late to watch the Olympics every night this past week (despite being able to see most events upon awaking recorded on www.nbcolympics.com). By the way those who don't know me well may not know that I never (underline that) never watch television. Except during the Olympics. This one has certainly provided me with more than enough substance to far outweigh the repetitive and often annoying ads.
If you remember the old ABC Wide World of Sports tag line "the human drama of athletic competition" you will certainly find it in these Olympics. Say whatever you like about the obsession it takes for someone like Michael Phelps to become synonymous with world record -watching people strive to be the best they can be, fail at it and embrace their fellow competitor is awe-inspiring. The range of emotions I am host to as a slug on the couch at 11PM, has astounded even me! Sometimes I just don't know what to feel; these games being set in the belly of China, a country that tried its best to blot out its record of human rights issues with an ostentatious display of over-the-top technology combined with precision to the 2008th power! When I add to that watching the effort put out by every athlete, the joy of Burundi or Serbia winning their country's first ever medal, the dedication of Dara Torres at 41 in her fifth Olympics, or the electricity as our local Home Depot literally came to a halt while they watched their own "girl from checkout" compete for and win a bronze in judo, I frequently well up.
There will be accusations of drug use or performance enhancement of course; and no doubt some will be guilty - competition does that. But for two short weeks, I will forget my politics, I will believe in the human spirit, and I will go with too little sleep - and dream that I am somehow a part of all that is happening a half a world away. Sorry, I am an idealist.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Talking With Dragons
This is a quick one!
Two weeks ago I bought a voice-to-text software tool called Dragon-Naturally Speaking (v9). And in those two weeks I have become a walking talking advertisement for it. This is the smartest piece of software I have ever seen. Not only does it recognize what I am saying with amazing accuracy, it learns and corrects itself each time. The only real problem I have had so far is when Joe and I are working on the book in Starbucks, the background noise, chatter and music confuses it somewhat - so the editing gets a little hard. But at home, the Dragon is close to flawless. Best of all I got it at Staples for $50 after rebate! This is a writer's dream come true.
Two weeks ago I bought a voice-to-text software tool called Dragon-Naturally Speaking (v9). And in those two weeks I have become a walking talking advertisement for it. This is the smartest piece of software I have ever seen. Not only does it recognize what I am saying with amazing accuracy, it learns and corrects itself each time. The only real problem I have had so far is when Joe and I are working on the book in Starbucks, the background noise, chatter and music confuses it somewhat - so the editing gets a little hard. But at home, the Dragon is close to flawless. Best of all I got it at Staples for $50 after rebate! This is a writer's dream come true.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Reverse Logic
Lately I have been studying the process of transformation as a metaphor for some of the deeper spiritual work we sometimes face and it seems to me that we have this all backwards. Most of us (I include me in that) think of the work of transformation as learning how to delete the nasty and less desirable aspects of ourselves - our defects of character - so that we might live purer, more saintly lives. On closer inspection of the scriptures, I find that it is just the opposite.
Think of it this way. Those desirable parts of our personalities, the ones we think are good, actually get in the way of letting in the divine goodness - or perhaps more accurately, letting it out. Furthermore those same characteristics might serve to make us think better of ourselves than we should - hey I am proud of my charitable works, it is what I am supposed to do. But look at our scriptural heritage: From Judaic tradition prior to Passover the family was to select the purest lamb from the flock and bring it in to the house. There it lived as one of the family for four days, while the kids played with it, fell in love with it, named it and cuddled it at night. Then after the fourth day, it was slaughtered! Not some nasty old goat - the cute, pure innocent lamb. Likewise from Christian tradition, Jesus (not the criminal Barabbas) was executed - the good guy, not the bad guy. God always seems to pick the flawed ones to do that Divine work. How that got turned around into working to cannonize saints, I don't know!
Transformation is reverse logic - we need to let in our faults and defects, embrace them in order not only to heal them but to realize how similar we are to others of our kind. Letting them in and accepting my faults releases a flood of compassion for others that I could otherwise never access. And when that is accompanied by killing off the parts of me of which I am most enamoured - my best stuff - I find I am no longer competing with God or trying to play the godly role. I can finally step aside and let the true goodness flow through me.
Once again I come to the conclusion that human logic is not Divine logic - But I hope I am beginning to catch on.
Think of it this way. Those desirable parts of our personalities, the ones we think are good, actually get in the way of letting in the divine goodness - or perhaps more accurately, letting it out. Furthermore those same characteristics might serve to make us think better of ourselves than we should - hey I am proud of my charitable works, it is what I am supposed to do. But look at our scriptural heritage: From Judaic tradition prior to Passover the family was to select the purest lamb from the flock and bring it in to the house. There it lived as one of the family for four days, while the kids played with it, fell in love with it, named it and cuddled it at night. Then after the fourth day, it was slaughtered! Not some nasty old goat - the cute, pure innocent lamb. Likewise from Christian tradition, Jesus (not the criminal Barabbas) was executed - the good guy, not the bad guy. God always seems to pick the flawed ones to do that Divine work. How that got turned around into working to cannonize saints, I don't know!
Transformation is reverse logic - we need to let in our faults and defects, embrace them in order not only to heal them but to realize how similar we are to others of our kind. Letting them in and accepting my faults releases a flood of compassion for others that I could otherwise never access. And when that is accompanied by killing off the parts of me of which I am most enamoured - my best stuff - I find I am no longer competing with God or trying to play the godly role. I can finally step aside and let the true goodness flow through me.
Once again I come to the conclusion that human logic is not Divine logic - But I hope I am beginning to catch on.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
For Once - Ya Done Good
From the Boston Globe: "The Massachusetts Senate today passed a bill that would repeal a 1913 state law that prevents gay and lesbian couples from most other states from marrying in Massachusetts. The law originated when lawmakers in many states were trying to prevent interracial couples from crossing state lines to marry. "
"The bill now heads to the House, where it is expected to pass and be signed by Governor Deval Patrick by the end of the month. "If that bill comes to me, I will sign it and sign it proudly," Patrick said Monday."
Commentary: I hate labels: Tall man, old man, gay man, handicapped man, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, fat, white, black, chink, gook... the list is endless. One of our most common tendencies is to out-group - define who we are by saying who the "other" is. It is a function of our ego's need to differentiate self from other. But that is dead opposite from every sacred principle in nearly every practice I am familiar with. In all of the great faiths, the mandate is not simply to accept the "other" but to reach out and bring in, welcome, and embrace. I remember reading a National Geographic photographer describing what it was like to come across a tribe of Bedouin. He said something like, while I was still far off I saw them coming out to welcome me, with bread and oil and wine in their hands. And wasn't that the reaction of the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, wasn't that what Abram did for the strangers, and so too wasn't that the welcome Muhammad got when fleeing from his city.
So my take on the issue is that if I (we) believe that god or a bit of god is in each of us then when "two or more are gathered" or come together, there is more of god's presence present. And if our goal is to have a conscious connection with god, then that is good. Contrarily, anything that separates us from god is wrong/sinful. Thus keeping others out, rejecting others, other-ing and labeling "them" is also a sin. I don't care who you are. I don't care where you have been. I don't care how you see things - even my brother-in-law who is a radical republican right winger - is welcome at my door. And, no, I (we - that is me and my family) will not try to make you the same as me/us. I will welcome your differentness as part of our greater humanity, and rejoice in your differences as part of the godly whole.
And today, I am proud that the state that I live in and the politicians with whom I have so many differences of opinion, today my state moved a little closer to being whole, and human and embracing. There is a god!
"The bill now heads to the House, where it is expected to pass and be signed by Governor Deval Patrick by the end of the month. "If that bill comes to me, I will sign it and sign it proudly," Patrick said Monday."
Commentary: I hate labels: Tall man, old man, gay man, handicapped man, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, fat, white, black, chink, gook... the list is endless. One of our most common tendencies is to out-group - define who we are by saying who the "other" is. It is a function of our ego's need to differentiate self from other. But that is dead opposite from every sacred principle in nearly every practice I am familiar with. In all of the great faiths, the mandate is not simply to accept the "other" but to reach out and bring in, welcome, and embrace. I remember reading a National Geographic photographer describing what it was like to come across a tribe of Bedouin. He said something like, while I was still far off I saw them coming out to welcome me, with bread and oil and wine in their hands. And wasn't that the reaction of the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, wasn't that what Abram did for the strangers, and so too wasn't that the welcome Muhammad got when fleeing from his city.
So my take on the issue is that if I (we) believe that god or a bit of god is in each of us then when "two or more are gathered" or come together, there is more of god's presence present. And if our goal is to have a conscious connection with god, then that is good. Contrarily, anything that separates us from god is wrong/sinful. Thus keeping others out, rejecting others, other-ing and labeling "them" is also a sin. I don't care who you are. I don't care where you have been. I don't care how you see things - even my brother-in-law who is a radical republican right winger - is welcome at my door. And, no, I (we - that is me and my family) will not try to make you the same as me/us. I will welcome your differentness as part of our greater humanity, and rejoice in your differences as part of the godly whole.
And today, I am proud that the state that I live in and the politicians with whom I have so many differences of opinion, today my state moved a little closer to being whole, and human and embracing. There is a god!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Purposeful Pain
It has been said that in order to have faith you first must encounter a situation big enough and disorienting enough to require that you find it. Likewise there are certain thoughts and awarenesses you get to that can only be arrived at as a result of passing through a significantly large enough disruption of your current way of thinking. Translate that disruption into pain, because the ego/mind likes its way and resists - tooth and nail - anything that disrupts its current course of action or thought pattern.
I have begun looking at pain - physical and mental - as a portal to insights. In fact for a few years now those who know me have heard me say that I got my disability in my left leg because I was not in dialogue with my pain. I had internalized coaching from my earlier years ("no pain no gain" "pain is weakness leaving the body" - yea, I liked that one too!) so that when I felt the pains in my leg and lower back I just pushed harder. Now that that is no longer an option, courtesy of a severed nerve, I must listen - and deal with it.
But least you think I am just talking about physical pain (which is just a convenient metaphor for the real stuff) what I am referring to is the kind of pain that we call mental anguish or what Carolyn Myss calls "spiritual madness." This is the place where due to the assertions of my conscious mind, I seem to have lost contact with god. (just to note: god never loses contact with me - it is when I lave lost the connection) In those dark nights of doubt and skepticism I must turn to what I see most missing - faith, trust and an unquestionable constancy. The paradox of this type of learning is that what I miss most is that which I am called on to provide (otherwise I might not be missing it). Have you ever been in one of those meetings where you just know the truth is not being spoken - but somehow you are the only one seeing it?? It thus falls to you to speak that truth. Well it is the same way here. When I am sorely missing my faith, I must call on it; when I hear no voice of god I must trust on it; when I doubt my own leadership I must speak it out loud and step forward and lead. It is backward and counterintuitive, but is the way god and the universe teach. And pain? Well that is the beacon light of learning - pain signals big things a-coming!! Bring it on!
I have begun looking at pain - physical and mental - as a portal to insights. In fact for a few years now those who know me have heard me say that I got my disability in my left leg because I was not in dialogue with my pain. I had internalized coaching from my earlier years ("no pain no gain" "pain is weakness leaving the body" - yea, I liked that one too!) so that when I felt the pains in my leg and lower back I just pushed harder. Now that that is no longer an option, courtesy of a severed nerve, I must listen - and deal with it.
But least you think I am just talking about physical pain (which is just a convenient metaphor for the real stuff) what I am referring to is the kind of pain that we call mental anguish or what Carolyn Myss calls "spiritual madness." This is the place where due to the assertions of my conscious mind, I seem to have lost contact with god. (just to note: god never loses contact with me - it is when I lave lost the connection) In those dark nights of doubt and skepticism I must turn to what I see most missing - faith, trust and an unquestionable constancy. The paradox of this type of learning is that what I miss most is that which I am called on to provide (otherwise I might not be missing it). Have you ever been in one of those meetings where you just know the truth is not being spoken - but somehow you are the only one seeing it?? It thus falls to you to speak that truth. Well it is the same way here. When I am sorely missing my faith, I must call on it; when I hear no voice of god I must trust on it; when I doubt my own leadership I must speak it out loud and step forward and lead. It is backward and counterintuitive, but is the way god and the universe teach. And pain? Well that is the beacon light of learning - pain signals big things a-coming!! Bring it on!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
God's Humor
When my girls were young our favorite movie was Watership Down which begins with the tale of El-ahrairah (the prince of all rabbits). El-ahrairah was clever and tried to trick god but got caught and ran to hide. But god sought him out and asked him to come out so that he might bless El-ahrairah. The rabbit prince, whose head was half-way down a hole said, "if you want to bless me, then bless my bottom." Which is why the rabbit to this day has a beautiful white tail and strong back legs.
Rewind the tape some 3000 years, to the time of Moses. Moses it seems wanted to see God - after all he had been employed by this Deity for some time now - it only seemed fair. But YHWH was not to be had like any simple relationship and told Moses that he would pass by but would shield him from seeing his Divine "killer" face. However god was not totally unreasonable, and allowed that Moses could see his back side. (Though the Oxford translation simply says "his back") I actually think this is emblematic of the humor the Divine one operates with - I mean, really, god was greatly responsible for creating me and that has been a hoot! So Moses, the ultimate leader (who by the way is a stutterer, and, less we forget, a convicted killer), is permitted to see the Promised Land but not actually to get there, and in the scene in Exodus 33:23, is permitted to see god but gets mooned in the process! Moses never says what he saw, but I wonder if God was wearing a big fluffy white tail or what.
My God just cracks me up!
Rewind the tape some 3000 years, to the time of Moses. Moses it seems wanted to see God - after all he had been employed by this Deity for some time now - it only seemed fair. But YHWH was not to be had like any simple relationship and told Moses that he would pass by but would shield him from seeing his Divine "killer" face. However god was not totally unreasonable, and allowed that Moses could see his back side. (Though the Oxford translation simply says "his back") I actually think this is emblematic of the humor the Divine one operates with - I mean, really, god was greatly responsible for creating me and that has been a hoot! So Moses, the ultimate leader (who by the way is a stutterer, and, less we forget, a convicted killer), is permitted to see the Promised Land but not actually to get there, and in the scene in Exodus 33:23, is permitted to see god but gets mooned in the process! Moses never says what he saw, but I wonder if God was wearing a big fluffy white tail or what.
My God just cracks me up!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Insomnia
It's 3:37AM as I begin to write this. I have been waking up in the middle of the night lately and not being able to get back to sleep. I don't know if this is an aging thing or stress related or what, but it is rather annoying, not to mention the negative effects on the following day's productivity!
I have found a website that lists 41 remedies for insomnia and note with some frustration that I have tried at least 27 of them tonight alone. Surely I can't be the only person who wakes up and can't get back to sleep. I try prayer, meditation, muscle flexing/relaxing, deep breathing, peaceful images, (no sheep-counting though) and a variety of pre-bedtime rituals. It is possible to abuse enough ibuprophen to be asleep all night but I fear the hit my liver will take from that.
So this is the most recent therapy: writing. Though right now I feel more awake than when I sat down. I think th eidea is to stop thinking not do more of it. I'd go for a long walk around the neighborhood but fear the local constables wouldn't like red and white palm tree pajama shorts, so maybe it's best to just lay there in bed and relax - sleep or no sleep.
I have found a website that lists 41 remedies for insomnia and note with some frustration that I have tried at least 27 of them tonight alone. Surely I can't be the only person who wakes up and can't get back to sleep. I try prayer, meditation, muscle flexing/relaxing, deep breathing, peaceful images, (no sheep-counting though) and a variety of pre-bedtime rituals. It is possible to abuse enough ibuprophen to be asleep all night but I fear the hit my liver will take from that.
So this is the most recent therapy: writing. Though right now I feel more awake than when I sat down. I think th eidea is to stop thinking not do more of it. I'd go for a long walk around the neighborhood but fear the local constables wouldn't like red and white palm tree pajama shorts, so maybe it's best to just lay there in bed and relax - sleep or no sleep.
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