Weird day. I awoke in a rush and did my usual routine but somewhere in the zoom lost my phoneberry. (unrecalled by my conscious mind - I had put it in my briefcase). In a panic and rush I left home (I thought) without it. I found it though when it vibrated in the silence of my car. I had been meditating on the fact that the world I am in is whirling much too fast and I want to get off. Calling home I told my compassionate wife that I needed to have a day of grace and relaxation - I just wished I could have a mini sabbatical.
I got to my first appointment and found that she wasn't there - she had just been called into an emergency meeting and left apologies for the missed meeting. Cool! Found time called wife again and found myself saying, "gee god sure answers quickly." So I checked in with my next two appointments just in case it was a divine plot to answer my request. 11AM said, I just can't meet today, let's reschedule," and my 1PM confirmed. It was now 9:30 and I went home to write and reflect on how wonderful it was to ask for time to rest and have it appear so quickly.
I remember Carolyn Myss saying once that things show up in a timeliness that is equal to your living in the present. Wow! Good connections, eh! And now I am contemplating going to bed at 9PM. I need some rest, thank you, God!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Abundant Life
First of all, thanks to my Pastor for his sermon last week (noting the true definition of the "abundant" life that is our birthright) and to my magical eldest daughter, Pastor B, for her notes from a recent trip back to the barrios of Ecuador which re-frame once again my understanding of abundance and scarcity.
So here is the question: Why is it that those who have the most (wealth, toys, land, holdings) suffer most from a feeling of scarcity and wanting, while those with so little are so giving and seem so willing to share ALL that they have? Isn't that backwards? Doesn't that strike you as, if not impossible, at the very least improbable? But that is the truth. And it is the core message of the sacred texts. Give it away and you have more. More what? Simple: more abundance.
Then what is this abundance and this so-called abundant life. It is a freedom - freedom from the addictions of the ego and its petty righteousness around things and symbols. The ego, it would seem, needs to count and to measure. It needs to believe that it means something. But ego, like Kubrick's computer HAL, is a tool gone bad. The mind is an organ of the human body designed to make sense out of nonsense, to make order out of chaos. That's its sole purpose. But along the way it begins to distinguish (in its task of ordering things) self from other, and in doing so begins to count. "I have more of this than he does." "I am not the same as he." "I am different, special, unique, and therefore uniquely loved by my maker." OOO-yeah, I slipped that last one in there as a sucker punch. See that's where it goes of the deep end. And we cannot seem to call it back at that point, "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that!"
And so god points us to the poor among us, to the children among us, to the widowed, outcast, disenfranchised; to those who HAVE nothing, as the examples of how and where to access abundance. That is not a non sequitur. It is simply that devoid of the entrapments of stuff, spiritually-inclined people are able to access an abundance of the meaning and meaningful stuff of life - love, aesthetics, charity, compassion. They are able to "get it" because their identity is not so wrapped up in the structures and counting of their ego. As a matter of record, I would contend that their egos have been relatively smashed. All-in-all not a bad thing.
How then do we access this abundant life? It may not be, as Jesus instructed the rich man, to sell of all our possessions and give the proceeds to the poor, unless, of course (as was the case with the rich man) our identity is all wrapped up in that stuff. But can you become, as the Buddha instructed, detached from it? What would you or I need to do to get us to the point of smashed ego-function, and live free from any - ANY - attachment to the stuff and the accomplishments and the numbers in life? Most importantly, how do I teach my son that value (I am confident both adult daughters live there)?
Abundant life is a discipline - a way of being - that practices detachment to stuff and acts with charity in all times and places. It is not a state one can achieve (yes, that would be ego talking again) - it is only a path, a discipline that eventually shapes the mind and soul. Freedom is the state of being that results from the discipline of abundant living. Freedom from counting, freedom from worry, freedom from scarcity, freedom from oppression (can you dig that? - you cannot oppress a man who is ego-less, you cannot take anything from one who holds on to nothing).
So here is the question: Why is it that those who have the most (wealth, toys, land, holdings) suffer most from a feeling of scarcity and wanting, while those with so little are so giving and seem so willing to share ALL that they have? Isn't that backwards? Doesn't that strike you as, if not impossible, at the very least improbable? But that is the truth. And it is the core message of the sacred texts. Give it away and you have more. More what? Simple: more abundance.
Then what is this abundance and this so-called abundant life. It is a freedom - freedom from the addictions of the ego and its petty righteousness around things and symbols. The ego, it would seem, needs to count and to measure. It needs to believe that it means something. But ego, like Kubrick's computer HAL, is a tool gone bad. The mind is an organ of the human body designed to make sense out of nonsense, to make order out of chaos. That's its sole purpose. But along the way it begins to distinguish (in its task of ordering things) self from other, and in doing so begins to count. "I have more of this than he does." "I am not the same as he." "I am different, special, unique, and therefore uniquely loved by my maker." OOO-yeah, I slipped that last one in there as a sucker punch. See that's where it goes of the deep end. And we cannot seem to call it back at that point, "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that!"
And so god points us to the poor among us, to the children among us, to the widowed, outcast, disenfranchised; to those who HAVE nothing, as the examples of how and where to access abundance. That is not a non sequitur. It is simply that devoid of the entrapments of stuff, spiritually-inclined people are able to access an abundance of the meaning and meaningful stuff of life - love, aesthetics, charity, compassion. They are able to "get it" because their identity is not so wrapped up in the structures and counting of their ego. As a matter of record, I would contend that their egos have been relatively smashed. All-in-all not a bad thing.
How then do we access this abundant life? It may not be, as Jesus instructed the rich man, to sell of all our possessions and give the proceeds to the poor, unless, of course (as was the case with the rich man) our identity is all wrapped up in that stuff. But can you become, as the Buddha instructed, detached from it? What would you or I need to do to get us to the point of smashed ego-function, and live free from any - ANY - attachment to the stuff and the accomplishments and the numbers in life? Most importantly, how do I teach my son that value (I am confident both adult daughters live there)?
Abundant life is a discipline - a way of being - that practices detachment to stuff and acts with charity in all times and places. It is not a state one can achieve (yes, that would be ego talking again) - it is only a path, a discipline that eventually shapes the mind and soul. Freedom is the state of being that results from the discipline of abundant living. Freedom from counting, freedom from worry, freedom from scarcity, freedom from oppression (can you dig that? - you cannot oppress a man who is ego-less, you cannot take anything from one who holds on to nothing).
Friday, August 22, 2008
Do You Suffer Enough
The Buddha says that it is suffering that moves us to change toward enlightenment and I must agree. I have written about pain before (Purposeful Pain, 7/14/08) but that is purely on an individual level and of the nature that prevents me from further hurting myself. What I am thinking of now is actual suffering and grief.
On a personal level the suffering in the dark night of the soul is the place where we discover real faith and hope. In truth, it cannot exist anywhere else. Seriously, what kind of faith is it if you have all the evidence in the world that god has provided for you. That is evidence. Faith is only evident when there is doubt, or as Carolyn Myss is fond of saying, "In order to have faith you need to have an experience that demands you find it." So a real purpose of our pain suffering and doubt is that it forces us to develop deep faith and the endurance of a distance runner.
But in the transformational journey, the waves of darkness keep coming. (Oh you thought it was over and that the lesson was learned - wrong!) Each time we dip into the dark night, another layer of ego is stripped away, and another door or window to the world is opened. We gradually evolve from self centered living to allocentric living - other centered. The Buddha calls these outer layers of consciousness a movement toward oneness. As the illusion of separateness is eroded by spiritual suffering (sometimes it is more like being ripped away), our consciousness opens to the global experience of what it means to be human. 'I' becomes 'we' and the limited awareness of one's "sheltered" thin slice of humanity widens to include many others. This is good and right, right?
Wrong! Not good! Because with this awareness comes the suffering of 3-4 billion of the world's population. Not spiritual suffering alone: not just hunger - but starvation; not just sickness - but plague; not just pain - but torture. Human suffering is the awareness of the transformed soul. And what can we do with that level of awareness? The answer is not in turning away, or in numbing our brains with drugs and alcohol. No, the answer is, feel it, let it course through your body and rip out the last vestiges of an ego that thinks it has the power to solve the problem, and then sit with the grief! (O, fun, sign me up for that ride!)
The price of admission to the transformation ride is awareness - disturbing, painful, awareness. The kind that wakes you up at 3AM in the question of, "What am I going to do today that works toward the side of justice and mercy?" And so I sit here with the question (I have gotten used to living in the question) wondering at what point will the suffering be so unbearable that I chuck the roles I currently have and take greater action; global action. At what point will I no longer be able to silence the voice that wants to scream out at the profitability machine, "Enough!" When will I have suffered enough for that? Do you suffer enough?
On a personal level the suffering in the dark night of the soul is the place where we discover real faith and hope. In truth, it cannot exist anywhere else. Seriously, what kind of faith is it if you have all the evidence in the world that god has provided for you. That is evidence. Faith is only evident when there is doubt, or as Carolyn Myss is fond of saying, "In order to have faith you need to have an experience that demands you find it." So a real purpose of our pain suffering and doubt is that it forces us to develop deep faith and the endurance of a distance runner.
But in the transformational journey, the waves of darkness keep coming. (Oh you thought it was over and that the lesson was learned - wrong!) Each time we dip into the dark night, another layer of ego is stripped away, and another door or window to the world is opened. We gradually evolve from self centered living to allocentric living - other centered. The Buddha calls these outer layers of consciousness a movement toward oneness. As the illusion of separateness is eroded by spiritual suffering (sometimes it is more like being ripped away), our consciousness opens to the global experience of what it means to be human. 'I' becomes 'we' and the limited awareness of one's "sheltered" thin slice of humanity widens to include many others. This is good and right, right?
Wrong! Not good! Because with this awareness comes the suffering of 3-4 billion of the world's population. Not spiritual suffering alone: not just hunger - but starvation; not just sickness - but plague; not just pain - but torture. Human suffering is the awareness of the transformed soul. And what can we do with that level of awareness? The answer is not in turning away, or in numbing our brains with drugs and alcohol. No, the answer is, feel it, let it course through your body and rip out the last vestiges of an ego that thinks it has the power to solve the problem, and then sit with the grief! (O, fun, sign me up for that ride!)
The price of admission to the transformation ride is awareness - disturbing, painful, awareness. The kind that wakes you up at 3AM in the question of, "What am I going to do today that works toward the side of justice and mercy?" And so I sit here with the question (I have gotten used to living in the question) wondering at what point will the suffering be so unbearable that I chuck the roles I currently have and take greater action; global action. At what point will I no longer be able to silence the voice that wants to scream out at the profitability machine, "Enough!" When will I have suffered enough for that? Do you suffer enough?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Surrendering
I have been thinking a lot about the role of surrender and how we engage in the process of surrendering - whether to the will of god or life's issues. It seems to me that surrenderers (is that a word?) fall into two groups: those who, through their insight and reflection of the events, seem to be willing to “turn over the keys” and let the universe or the powers do the driving (I'll call that a "standing surrender"), and those who have to be beaten into submission and get to the point of knowing that it is either “surrender or die” (which I will call "on your knees" surrendering). The qualitative difference between the two groups is not in the nature of the surrender itself, however. It is in their willingness to surrender and in their view of the end point of the process. The second group (who resist the surrender) seem to believe that there must be an end point. They hope against hope that “this too will pass” but in the end join in with Churchill who allegedly said after the Battle of Britain, “nothing focuses a man’s mind like a loaded pistol next to his head.” Each time they surrender (yes, on their knees again) they get up thinking that this time was "it" and that they finally learned the lesson.
The former group (standing surrender) however, come to a realization that there is no end point, that in fact it is the process of being willing to surrender over and over (see Between the Garden Gates, posted 12/27/07) that is the result. They seem to understand what is at stake. Surrendering fully is letting the ego die of starvation. The great masters knew this truth and followed this path or guided their students along the path. They systematically denied anything that would feed ego or even looked like it might be self serving. In fact, they willingly took direct shots from the world around them knowing somehow that the pain would eventually defeat and drive out the pride and egocentrism that prevent the surrender which would lead them to advanced leadership. Richard Rohr says it a bit more succinctly, “In the great spiritual traditions, the wounds to our ego are our teachers and must be welcomed. They must be paid attention to, not litigated.” In today’s world we have built a society that wishes to program away or drug out anything that may be even marginally perceived as painful or uncomfortable. Yet those are exactly the conditions that produce and shape our development. The ego will not go quietly! Its whole identity is at risk. The belief that we can prevail and conquer anything, any condition – even death itself – must pass away and yield to a greater truth of life: that life is borrowed time, that living is for service to others and not the self and that ultimately universal chaos is in charge, not our petty little plans and schedules. Surrender is the process of facing the inevitable setback and pain in the knowledge that through it we become shaped into vessels.
The former group (standing surrender) however, come to a realization that there is no end point, that in fact it is the process of being willing to surrender over and over (see Between the Garden Gates, posted 12/27/07) that is the result. They seem to understand what is at stake. Surrendering fully is letting the ego die of starvation. The great masters knew this truth and followed this path or guided their students along the path. They systematically denied anything that would feed ego or even looked like it might be self serving. In fact, they willingly took direct shots from the world around them knowing somehow that the pain would eventually defeat and drive out the pride and egocentrism that prevent the surrender which would lead them to advanced leadership. Richard Rohr says it a bit more succinctly, “In the great spiritual traditions, the wounds to our ego are our teachers and must be welcomed. They must be paid attention to, not litigated.” In today’s world we have built a society that wishes to program away or drug out anything that may be even marginally perceived as painful or uncomfortable. Yet those are exactly the conditions that produce and shape our development. The ego will not go quietly! Its whole identity is at risk. The belief that we can prevail and conquer anything, any condition – even death itself – must pass away and yield to a greater truth of life: that life is borrowed time, that living is for service to others and not the self and that ultimately universal chaos is in charge, not our petty little plans and schedules. Surrender is the process of facing the inevitable setback and pain in the knowledge that through it we become shaped into vessels.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Shock and Awe
It's the weekend and I am beat. I have been staying up late to watch the Olympics every night this past week (despite being able to see most events upon awaking recorded on www.nbcolympics.com). By the way those who don't know me well may not know that I never (underline that) never watch television. Except during the Olympics. This one has certainly provided me with more than enough substance to far outweigh the repetitive and often annoying ads.
If you remember the old ABC Wide World of Sports tag line "the human drama of athletic competition" you will certainly find it in these Olympics. Say whatever you like about the obsession it takes for someone like Michael Phelps to become synonymous with world record -watching people strive to be the best they can be, fail at it and embrace their fellow competitor is awe-inspiring. The range of emotions I am host to as a slug on the couch at 11PM, has astounded even me! Sometimes I just don't know what to feel; these games being set in the belly of China, a country that tried its best to blot out its record of human rights issues with an ostentatious display of over-the-top technology combined with precision to the 2008th power! When I add to that watching the effort put out by every athlete, the joy of Burundi or Serbia winning their country's first ever medal, the dedication of Dara Torres at 41 in her fifth Olympics, or the electricity as our local Home Depot literally came to a halt while they watched their own "girl from checkout" compete for and win a bronze in judo, I frequently well up.
There will be accusations of drug use or performance enhancement of course; and no doubt some will be guilty - competition does that. But for two short weeks, I will forget my politics, I will believe in the human spirit, and I will go with too little sleep - and dream that I am somehow a part of all that is happening a half a world away. Sorry, I am an idealist.
If you remember the old ABC Wide World of Sports tag line "the human drama of athletic competition" you will certainly find it in these Olympics. Say whatever you like about the obsession it takes for someone like Michael Phelps to become synonymous with world record -watching people strive to be the best they can be, fail at it and embrace their fellow competitor is awe-inspiring. The range of emotions I am host to as a slug on the couch at 11PM, has astounded even me! Sometimes I just don't know what to feel; these games being set in the belly of China, a country that tried its best to blot out its record of human rights issues with an ostentatious display of over-the-top technology combined with precision to the 2008th power! When I add to that watching the effort put out by every athlete, the joy of Burundi or Serbia winning their country's first ever medal, the dedication of Dara Torres at 41 in her fifth Olympics, or the electricity as our local Home Depot literally came to a halt while they watched their own "girl from checkout" compete for and win a bronze in judo, I frequently well up.
There will be accusations of drug use or performance enhancement of course; and no doubt some will be guilty - competition does that. But for two short weeks, I will forget my politics, I will believe in the human spirit, and I will go with too little sleep - and dream that I am somehow a part of all that is happening a half a world away. Sorry, I am an idealist.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Talking With Dragons
This is a quick one!
Two weeks ago I bought a voice-to-text software tool called Dragon-Naturally Speaking (v9). And in those two weeks I have become a walking talking advertisement for it. This is the smartest piece of software I have ever seen. Not only does it recognize what I am saying with amazing accuracy, it learns and corrects itself each time. The only real problem I have had so far is when Joe and I are working on the book in Starbucks, the background noise, chatter and music confuses it somewhat - so the editing gets a little hard. But at home, the Dragon is close to flawless. Best of all I got it at Staples for $50 after rebate! This is a writer's dream come true.
Two weeks ago I bought a voice-to-text software tool called Dragon-Naturally Speaking (v9). And in those two weeks I have become a walking talking advertisement for it. This is the smartest piece of software I have ever seen. Not only does it recognize what I am saying with amazing accuracy, it learns and corrects itself each time. The only real problem I have had so far is when Joe and I are working on the book in Starbucks, the background noise, chatter and music confuses it somewhat - so the editing gets a little hard. But at home, the Dragon is close to flawless. Best of all I got it at Staples for $50 after rebate! This is a writer's dream come true.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Reverse Logic
Lately I have been studying the process of transformation as a metaphor for some of the deeper spiritual work we sometimes face and it seems to me that we have this all backwards. Most of us (I include me in that) think of the work of transformation as learning how to delete the nasty and less desirable aspects of ourselves - our defects of character - so that we might live purer, more saintly lives. On closer inspection of the scriptures, I find that it is just the opposite.
Think of it this way. Those desirable parts of our personalities, the ones we think are good, actually get in the way of letting in the divine goodness - or perhaps more accurately, letting it out. Furthermore those same characteristics might serve to make us think better of ourselves than we should - hey I am proud of my charitable works, it is what I am supposed to do. But look at our scriptural heritage: From Judaic tradition prior to Passover the family was to select the purest lamb from the flock and bring it in to the house. There it lived as one of the family for four days, while the kids played with it, fell in love with it, named it and cuddled it at night. Then after the fourth day, it was slaughtered! Not some nasty old goat - the cute, pure innocent lamb. Likewise from Christian tradition, Jesus (not the criminal Barabbas) was executed - the good guy, not the bad guy. God always seems to pick the flawed ones to do that Divine work. How that got turned around into working to cannonize saints, I don't know!
Transformation is reverse logic - we need to let in our faults and defects, embrace them in order not only to heal them but to realize how similar we are to others of our kind. Letting them in and accepting my faults releases a flood of compassion for others that I could otherwise never access. And when that is accompanied by killing off the parts of me of which I am most enamoured - my best stuff - I find I am no longer competing with God or trying to play the godly role. I can finally step aside and let the true goodness flow through me.
Once again I come to the conclusion that human logic is not Divine logic - But I hope I am beginning to catch on.
Think of it this way. Those desirable parts of our personalities, the ones we think are good, actually get in the way of letting in the divine goodness - or perhaps more accurately, letting it out. Furthermore those same characteristics might serve to make us think better of ourselves than we should - hey I am proud of my charitable works, it is what I am supposed to do. But look at our scriptural heritage: From Judaic tradition prior to Passover the family was to select the purest lamb from the flock and bring it in to the house. There it lived as one of the family for four days, while the kids played with it, fell in love with it, named it and cuddled it at night. Then after the fourth day, it was slaughtered! Not some nasty old goat - the cute, pure innocent lamb. Likewise from Christian tradition, Jesus (not the criminal Barabbas) was executed - the good guy, not the bad guy. God always seems to pick the flawed ones to do that Divine work. How that got turned around into working to cannonize saints, I don't know!
Transformation is reverse logic - we need to let in our faults and defects, embrace them in order not only to heal them but to realize how similar we are to others of our kind. Letting them in and accepting my faults releases a flood of compassion for others that I could otherwise never access. And when that is accompanied by killing off the parts of me of which I am most enamoured - my best stuff - I find I am no longer competing with God or trying to play the godly role. I can finally step aside and let the true goodness flow through me.
Once again I come to the conclusion that human logic is not Divine logic - But I hope I am beginning to catch on.
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