Only Moment by Moment

I am reminded each day that I am called to take this day, this set of 24 hours, this next hour and in fact  this next breath, moment by moment. While I sit here trying to set my intention for the day, my focus must be in the moment. How am I feeling this moment? Am I feeling alive and awake or sad and despairing?

This moment is the origin of the whole day and is, truthfully what sets my sails for the day and the journey ahead. By choosing to be joyfully awake and aware in this moment I am able to chart a course of productivity and usefulness.  By choosing to succumb to the sadness (thoughts and feelings that are driven mostly by wishing that I were somewhere else or that my current circumstances were not as they are) I am rendered a victim of those thoughts - most importantly because I am not present in this moment. If and when I am not present in this moment I am not capable of operating in this moment, which thus deprive me of any opportunity of acting.

Mindfulness is an awareness practice that puts us on the path by placing our feet squarely on the beginning of the path. Our (excuse me, my) human tendency is to want to look down the path and somehow be "down there" without having had to step onto the path at the beginning - where I am NOW.

Sometime next week my nephew will climb to the top of Mt. Kathadin, completing the end to end hike of the full Appalachian Trail having. He said, when we met up with him at the VT/NH border, that when he went in to a town to resupply, he always made sure to go back to the place he stepped off the trail - even if he knew there was an access point on the other side of that town.  He wanted to be mindful of completing every step of the actual trail.

There are no short-cuts in mindfulness.

Mystical Moments

When we talk about true mystical experience, it seems as though the general thought is that anyone who has a genuine connection with the divine floats about in some kind of mystical state 24/7. However none of the mystics ever seem to report it that way. What is more the case is that they (and we) have scattered mystical moments; small glimpses of what that connection looks and feels like. It is here one moment and slips away as soon as we try to latch on to it and hold it as our own.

Actually the term mysticism and mystical were not even part of our language until the 15th century, so the early "mystics" did not even refer to themselves or their experiences as mystical. They were simply trying to be present in the moment.  But as the church tried more and more to make god and spirituality more other-worldly, they pushed the experience of the divine into the realm of the non-human - and we have been trying to get it back ever since.

Truth is: mystical moments happen all the time but because we tend to be looking elsewhere for the big kahuna "aha" experience, we don't recognize them. You know what they are: a baby's smile, catching another person eye-to-eye, sunsets and sunrises, a rose blooming or a crocus poking its way through the last snow, and so many more. In fact every instant there is another moment that is mystical and transcendant. and when you start to see them, life itself becomes more beautiful and precious.

The trick in the whole mystical experience is to be awake and aware enough to notice what is happening in the now. And each time we forget that life is filled with these mystical moments, we slide back into our routines of worrying about the future or wishing away the past. Dan Millman wrote a book once called No Ordinary Moments which really captures this understanding.  But we don't need near death experiences to wake us up - we need only to wake up. Then you'll see why the so called "mystics" lived quite ordinary lives - but were filled by the abundance of mystical moments they allowed themselves to experience in every moment. So coming back to the beginning of this thought stream, if we are actually capable of being present I suppose we could enjoy a mystical life.  The problem, as Ram Dass said, is to Be Here Now!

Praying the Rosary

Yesterday I had an appointment at one of the large teaching hospitals in Boston that has a significant women's practice. And as I was walking away from my appointment I came across a small group or protesters with signs about abortion being murder and killing and such. But what struck me was the elder man in the middle of the group in what was an obviously different state. He was praying the Rosary, working his way around a string of beads. I hadn't heard the Rosary in years and the whole vignette stopped me in my tracks.

I don't know what your beliefs are on the subject, but I know mine, and while different in many ways from the philosophy on the signs, I was moved by this man's presence. First of all, I don't see many people praying in public, at least not many who are not at all concerned with what others may think. There was not self-important "look at me pray" element like some TV evangelist. The man WAS praying and clearly deeply into it. His state reminded me of what I read in one of Merton's texts, that prayer changes us not god. It was spiritual and holy, not righteous.

But beyond that, his presence reminded me of my lost practice of ritual prayer. I fancy that I have some kind of conscious and real conversational relationship with the god of my experiencing, and so my prayer over time has become more of a fireside chat than formal. But what Merton says is true - for me, as well, if I recall. There is a power to ritual prayer that is not present in my conversation, even if some of the associated "theology" and concepts are contrary to my current set of beliefs and experiences. The power is that ritual lifts us from normal space/time experience into what Rohr calls "liminal" or threshold experience - that space where we are neither here nor there and we can become open and opened to what is trying to make its way into our consciousness. I remember that I experienced my calling, way back when I was 17, after pulling an all-nighter prayer vigil where I literally prayed every ritual prayer over and over for something like 12 hours.

It is something I too often forget, but thanks to a bunch of people I might never have talked to, I got re-grounded in a tool of spirituality that I had forgotten for some time. Even if I don't believe in Mary's intercessory role or ability, I am grateful for the man and his Rosary.

Rest

Weird day. I awoke in a rush and did my usual routine but somewhere in the zoom lost my phoneberry. (unrecalled by my conscious mind - I had put it in my briefcase). In a panic and rush I left home (I thought) without it. I found it though when it vibrated in the silence of my car. I had been meditating on the fact that the world I am in is whirling much too fast and I want to get off. Calling home I told my compassionate wife that I needed to have a day of grace and relaxation - I just wished I could have a mini sabbatical.

I got to my first appointment and found that she wasn't there - she had just been called into an emergency meeting and left apologies for the missed meeting. Cool! Found time called wife again and found myself saying, "gee god sure answers quickly." So I checked in with my next two appointments just in case it was a divine plot to answer my request. 11AM said, I just can't meet today, let's reschedule," and my 1PM confirmed. It was now 9:30 and I went home to write and reflect on how wonderful it was to ask for time to rest and have it appear so quickly.

I remember Carolyn Myss saying once that things show up in a timeliness that is equal to your living in the present. Wow! Good connections, eh! And now I am contemplating going to bed at 9PM. I need some rest, thank you, God!