Easter Quiz

The fun part of being a non-literalistic fan of the bible is that one can tolerate the many discrepancies held within these "sacred" texts. And among the best of the best in confusing events (with second place going to the feeding of a large number of people) is the Easter story. Here are but a few of the wonderful parts of this story in the form of a little quiz (answers included):

1. How many women went to the tomb early that morning (before sunrise as in John, after sunrise as in Matt and Mark)? Was it just Mary Magdalene by herself (John)? A whole bunch (Mary M, Mary Mom, Joanna, and their friends in Luke)? Or was it three (Mary M, Mary mom, and Salome in Mark)?

2. Then there was that confounded stone - was it rolled away (as in Mark, Luke and John's account) or by the angel after they/she arrived (Matt's version)? And while we are at it, how many angels or young men were there: two (John and Luke) or one (Matt and Mark)? And where were they? Inside the tomb (Mark and John) sitting on the stone after rolling it away (Matt) or suddenly appearing standing beside them (Luke)?

3. Ah, but what did the one or two angels or men say? "Woman (to Mary M) why are you crying (John)?" "Don't be afraid - you are looking for Jesus (Matt and Mark)" "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here (Luke)"

4. Now here is the stumper: What did the women do or say? Did they flee from the tomb saying nothing to anyone, despite being instructed to tell Peter and the Disciples (Mark); hurry away to tell the Disciples (Matt); bow in reverence, remembering what Jesus had told them, whereupon they "returned" to tell the Disciples (Luke); or stand there crying and say, "They have taken my Lord away." (John)?

5. And then, we have to deal with the guys themselves. What was the reaction of the 12? Mark doesn't mention any, Matt says they went to Galilee as instructed, Luke says they did not believe the women, but Peter ran to the tomb to see for himself, and John says that both Peter and the beloved disciple (presumably John) both ran to the tomb.

Bonus Question: When and where did Jesus appear and to whom? If you side with John, he appeared to Mary Magdalene right then and there at the tomb, engaged in conversation with her but warned her not to touch the merchandise as he had not yet returned to his father. Matt says he appeared to the women on the way back shortly after they left. Then Luke says that the first appearance wasn't till later that day as two of the disciples were walking to Emmaus. Poor Mark missed class the day they discussed the appearance and doesn't mention it at all! And least we forget, in 1 Corinthians, Peter claims to have seen him first, but that wasn't part of the contest.

So what do we make of this remarkable comedy of errors? Well if any of you had ever been at an astounding event, or traumatic event, you quickly know what happened here. Recall for example what you and your friends and colleagues did and said on 9/11. Then compare stories with them and you will find that no one tells the same story. Oh yea the towers fell, and some planes hit them, but the story of what you and they discussed will vary quite a bit, and that is what happened here. So overwhelming was the execution and days following that event that the telling and retelling of those accounts many times before writing them down, resulted in these wildly varying accounts, no one of which can be trusted literally as the god's honest truth.

What is true is that something happened and and it was pretty shaking. What is true is that we are still astounded by that event. And what is true is how that event lands on you. What you choose to believe is your Easter experience and that is all that matters.