Going Deep

Unless we go deep we cannot understand another’s context, emotions or even perspective because we will always be trying to make personal sense out of it first. Going deep requires accepting that “everything belongs,” just as it is, and everything holds within it the power to teach. But understanding this requires first surrendering control; something ego will resist with all his might. And if you can get over that hurdle, you can actually begin to accept that “everything belongs;” that even evil and darkness are part of the whole of the universe. Without that acceptance, however, ego will try to selectively accept some things (the good and useful stuff) and reject other parts as negative and useless.

But because all of creation is one, the so-called (or at least perceived as) negative stuff must be included within “everything belongs” or you risk not fully being open to learning. You have already begun evaluating before opening to what must be learned. And by extrapolation, you are only open to what you have already judged as acceptable within your limited scope. Only after going deep within yourself, and transforming the crushing blows of grief into compassion for your broken and defeated egoic self, can you accept all else in nature as part of the whole, as belonging, and as a perfect reflection of all else - including yourself. Until then you do not have the capacity for compassion. As the Buddha said, you must find compassion for yourself before you can have compassion for others.

It is the same with religious beliefs. One cannot fully comprehend another’s belief, spirituality, or spiritual crisis, until and unless one has first gone to deep places in which one’s own spirituality does not make sense - at least it does not make sense at the utilitarian, ego-driven logic level. You must allow your own beliefs to be challenged and to push you to deeper meaning making. Comfort with doubt and darkness must be accepted elements of your own beingness before you are able to look with compassion at another's struggles, another's torment, or another’s radical clinging to some fundamental structure. Compassion does not condone the values of the Taliban or ISIS, but rather can see through the hate and anger to the core of doubt and fear that must exist in order to demand such rigid adherence to those beliefs.

Then and only then can you ask, “What must I learn in order to love in such a way that the hurt, fear, and pain from which ‘the other’ must be operating is soothed and mitigated? How do I channel that type of healing love?” In fact, until your innermost self has been opened and transformed, most of us would probably ask, “Why even bother?” But once one has been opened, MLK’s assertion that “hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that,” takes on a new and deeper meaning. And Jesus’ demand to “love your enemies” is no longer spiritual ideal, but a possible reality.

A Light in the Darkness

I have a wonderful friend who is a magnificent stand for light and laughter in this world, but recently was compelled to write to her in the wake of the murders in Newtown, CT.

My Dear Sweet Friend

How I love you – and how I adore and embrace your message of light and laughter as a service to this world.  But I have been watching your posts over the last two days since the most recent horrific event in our world has unfolded. And there is something that just doesn’t sit right with me. In many of your posts you say that we ought to turn off the media and delete those stories in an effort to send our message to that same set of sources that they should stop the hype and backward glorification of these killers and perpetrators. And for me that is too passive.

To any act of violence there are three courses of action: retaliatory violence (attacking back in some form of revenge), passivity and non-violent resistance (taking away the power of their status seeking), and a third way that is active, positive action.  I am of the third way. I cannot simply turn it off least they (the media or some future on-looking perpetrator-to-be) think I don’t care or can’t be bothered. Well I am bothered – I am bothered beyond my ability to contain myself in non-action.

But let me say a bit about how I perceive your message of hope.  It is not wrong – not in the least.  In fact it is the only message we should preach.  It is the context of that hope with which I have issue.  Just as you cannot see in total darkness, you cannot see in total light.  If we look only for the positive in our world, accent only the good that exists, and turn our backs on the darkness, the hatred and the violence of our chaotic world, we run the risk of being blinded by the light.

Life is painful and chaotic, and that pain is exacerbated by hoping for or wishing that is would somehow be different than it is.  Suffering, says the Buddha, is caused by trying to deny the reality of the now and wishing for something better. We first have to accept that there are people in this world who are so alienated and lost that their only thought is to inflict that pain on others.  Whether we call that evil or the devil or mental illness does not matter. Whether that manifests in genocide or warring or the slaughter of innocent children (close to home or on the other side of the planet) is irrelevant.  It exists; and my first calling is to recognize that it does exist.

It is against that pain and suffering that you and I have been called to stand as a beacon. It is in those dark places that we have to shine even more brightly. But I must first acknowledge the pain and suffering and then with the greatest compassion light a candle of hope. And that hope that we bring is the hope for and in human connection. Our greatest darkness happens when we are alone and unconnected to others.  Our greatest lightness is when we are embraced in the loving arms of another. Murder, genocide and war are places where the human fabric has been torn apart, where lost and alone people can somehow ignore the brotherhood or sisterhood of the human on the other end of their weapon. Killing cannot happen any other way.

Love is the antidote, caring and compassion are its vehicles. Every sage who ever walked on this planet has instructed us to love our enemies, not just our friends. Anyone can love those who love. Anyone can shine brightly when surrounded by others of the light.  That is the easy part. But to stand up with tears of grief streaming down your cheeks and shine a ray of hope, is the really hard part of this work. To name the darkness and embrace another, to become a contagious infection of caring and compassion and spread love where there is none, that is the real work.

So I will not turn it off – not because I get some twisted horror-movie thrill out of human carnage – but because I am called to stand up to evil and darkness and not back down, and not dampen my light. The hope I peddle is that if and when we love each other, there can be no more of this pain. (And I just want to say that I am as crushed by the death reports coming from Afghanistan or the Gaza strip as I am from Newtown CT.  Every soldier was once a baby rocked by his or her mother; every one of us had a beautiful future in front of us and brought a sparkle to our parent’s eyes.) We need to spread the message that the best action to prevent violence is the bonds we forge between each of us when we love and embrace each other.  In a message to the parents of the children that attend our school, I said that now is the time to start talking to the other parents, get to know them, make them part of your family – love each other as your own.

Now is a time of action, and the battlefront is where the darkness is the deepest.  Your message is right on but my request is that we wage radical love in those darkest places of the human experience. I can love more powerfully than anyone can hate, and when you and I join together, that becomes exponentially greater. And that is how we will win, one at a time; one more at a time; every time we say “we” and we mean one more person that the last time we said it. And we will overcome the darkness.

Ending the Madness

"No one's religious anymore. Not anyone with any sense. Religion incites hatred, starts wars, and vilifies anyone who challenges its narrow-minded views." So starts an article in the Huffington Post UK version (by Felicity Morse). But where Ms Morse ended up with her article is not where I would go. So with thanks to her lead, let me turn a different way.

You're right, Felicity, and I hate it! I am sick of the divisiveness created by religions and religious sects. I am embarrassed when someone calls me a Christian and they mean that type of a person who thinks others are soiled, unclean or despicable because they don't say the right words.  Or when the mean some sort of narrow-minded bible-thumping "religious" fanatic that uses verses to their own defense and to the exclusion of others.

I can no longer find a religion that I can claim and yet I love God, and I do my best to follow the teachings of Jesus.  It's just that I do my best to also follow the teachings of the Buddha, Lao Tzu, Zoroaster, and just about every other wise sage that ever graced this planet. And I do not believe that I am special if I believe in the resurrection of Jeshua, the Nazarene, or that I am damned to eternity in hell if I don't.

That type of dualistic thinking is the root of the disease that we now call religions. But that was never the message - not the message of the Nazarene, not the message of the Buddha, not the message of Hillel, not the message anyone who has ever listened for God has ever heard. In fact the message of all sacred texts is one of acceptance and inclusion - not hatred and out-grouping; one of forgiveness and compassion - not revenge and hatred; one of care-taking and respect - not one of dominion and dominance. Where we went wrong and got off that path, I don't know. But I do know that our very survival depends on getting back to it.

It is time for ministers and preachers and spiritual people everywhere to speak out that we are one.  It is time that we link arms and stand squarely in the path of those who would divide and vilify others. It is time we all band together and shout "Enough! No more! No mas muerta!" It is time to work for healing and bridge-building and forgiving. My heart is breaking - we cannot continue the way we are going.

Please - if you read this, pass it on! That's how we can turn this around. It's like Marge Piercy wrote in her wonderful poem, The Low Road:

It goes on one at a time,

it starts when you care

to act, it starts when you do

it again and they said no,

it starts when you say We

and know you who you mean, and each

day you mean one more.

Fear Not!

Why is it that the standard greeting of angels, and for that matter, of Jesus post-crucifixion? As I see it there are two possible reasons. First of these could be that angels may not be the beautiful, white-robed, winged, runway models that the renaissance painters made them to be - that in fact they might be fearsome, fierce, and powerful creatures that no one this side of Jacob would ever want to wrestle with. That would fit with my understanding of god's humor (see blog entries like: Reverse Logic 8/4, God's Humor 7/12 and Transformation 3/21) - to send the message of hope and joy in a frightening package - just for cosmic giggles!

And what of Jesus? I have often considered that in keeping with this twisted god logic, Jesus may have been butt-ugly! I mean, god would not want people following him around just because he was some heart-throb hunk. Remember, this is the god who sent a stuttering, exiled, killer back to the scene of his crime to rescue the Israelites, and who came to visit not as a king but as a helpless infant born to a displaced, homeless, unwed couple in a stench-filled barn! Now when you combine that with the fact that Jesus might have been ugly and had just been killed in a most gruesome fashion, that may indeed have been a frightening sight.

Fear not indeed! I am not a monster!

But the other possibility - the one that is think is the more likely reason - is that god knows that we live in constant fear. Fear is the natural by-product of the ego which thinks that it can manage the universe (or at least my little corner of it) quite well all by itself, thank you very much. Yet confronted with a zillion pieces of evidence that it cannot do such a daunting task, the ego ducks and covers in abject fear. The truth is, alone, without god, life is frightening; pain and loss are frightening; and we recoil in fear.

But the message of the ghoulish archangel, of the blood splattered crucifixion victim, and of god in every instance is "fear not, for I am with you, even to the end of the earth!" "Fear not, I bring you glad tidings of great joy!" "Do not be afraid" (there are at least 100 passages where this phrase is used) Gotcha! You have been found out. Your fear is evident and yet the divine message keeps coming back, like some relentlessly caring mother, comforting her startled infant, "Shhh, it's alright, don't be afraid, I have you and you will be okay. Hush, shhhh"

The CHristmas message was "Behold!" But this Christmas I invite you to "be held" and comforted, and not afraid! Peace be with you all.

The Groundhog

We have a groundhog in our neighborhood - that I think lives under my tool shed. - and who helps himself to our herbs and flowers as well as the apples that fall over the fence from my neighbor's tree. He is big, and fat, and as it appears to me, quite happy in life.

I was watching him this morning at breakfast. He sat peacefully on the hillside, alternating munching on well watered grasses and observing the occasional joggers going by. I wondered what I could learn from him. First of all, he wants for nothing, yet he did not plant it, care for it or invest anything in it. If he could speak I am certain that he would view this world as his idea, his garden, his tossed salad on a silver platter! Yet I worry so much. How will I pay for this or that? Will I be able to feed my family? What about the leak I always get in the cellar after a heavy rain? How can I start seeing the world as my garden?

But he is also serene. Nothing seems to hurry my rather annoying visitor. He knows where his safe places are - the nearest bush or tunnel to escape me or another neighbor who has had it with his confounded eating our precious flowers. But he is calm and, yes, serene. he eats peacefully, looks up and surveys his world peacefully, and returns to his apple slowly and calmly. He isn't rushed - as I am - running from pillar to post, from one client to the next. Where is my peace, my pace, in this hurry-up world in which I live.

So I have declared today as Groundhog Day! And maybe tomorrow too. But unlike the movie of the same name, it will not be reliving the same events to get it right. It will be to see the world as my salad plate, to take my time, to know where my safety really is and to observe everything with a calm serenity. I have despised the little bastard, for always showing me up and outsmarting my attempts to stop him. But now he has the audacity to become my teacher!